Finding yourself feeling stuck? Noticing Shoulds pulling strings in your life? It doesn’t have to be this way! Let’s start rewriting your Shoulds today.
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When the idea of body image work feels too overwhelming, start with self-compassion towards oneself around the suffering of body image distress.
Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher, author, and Associate Professor, describes self-compassion as having three different components.
self kindness vs self judgement
common humanity versus isolation
mindfulness vs. over-identification
Self- Kindness is a very active stance and practice of soothing and taking care of one's suffering while self-judgment may look like judging and criticizing the suffering.
Common humanity is framing one’s experience as part of a larger human experience while isolation is isolating oneself and the experience.
Mindfulness allows us to notice our suffering and to be with the suffering as it is and be with it to then be able to give ourselves the caring and compassion we need.
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So this may seem like a strange challenge right off the bat. How do hobbies help us become more self-compassionate? Well, let's think about this for a minute. When do you feel really good being you? When do you feel really free and happy? When do you feel genuinely good about yourself? The answer is....when you are doing what you love!
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Guilt, mistakes, shame, the past...these things are H-E-A-V-Y! If you lug all these things around you get to your destination a lot slower, that is if you can even make it as you have to carry this heavy load. You also enjoy the journey a lot less with the heavy load. A big way to show ourselves more self compassion is to forgive ourselves and to let go.
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When I think about how I was able to bring more self-compassion into my life, one thing really sticks out- how I treated others. Now, I have always been a compassionate person and loved very deeply. However, I am not taking about simply loving and feeling compassion.
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Making assumptions and judgements about ourselves is a very easy think to do. In so many situations, it is so easy to fail to simply observe and remain curious. It is so easy to connect the dots that aren't there or fill in the blanks with out interpretations.
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Taking care of the caregiver is an important daily practice. When we don’t take care of ourselves, we can not take care of others, it is harder to enjoy ourselves, we aren’t able to give the same enthusiasm to our passions and daily activities, we lose direction, and so much more. Give yourself permission to meet your own needs, recognizing that this will not only enhance your quality of life.
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So, I am sure you have heard of a gratitude or appreciation journal, yeah? It is a journal in which you write about all of which you are grateful for! But have you heard of a self-appreciation journal? Today's challenge is to start (and continue) a self-appreciation journal of your own.
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Day 3 is all about thinking about surrounding yourselves with that of which encourages and supports self-compassion. You know the saying you are who you hang around with? Well, this saying has a lot of truth. You are, in a sense, all of what you surround yourself with!
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Day 2 challenges you to explore your self-talk. Self-talk is your inner voice, the one that provides a continuous monologue. It influences how we perceive ourselves and ultimately the world around us. When we foster negative self-talk by telling ourselves things like “you are a failure,” and "you can’t do this,” these thoughts can become powerful and ultimately very harmful.
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Both what motivates us to be healthier and what makes up the foundation on which our health is built matters! True health can only be achieved with the right foundation, driven by the right motives. So, where should these motives come from? What should the foundation of health be built on? You guessed it....SELF-COMPASSION!
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