How Self-Compassion can help Body Image

When the idea of body image work feels too overwhelming, start with self-compassion towards oneself around the suffering of body image distress.

Kristin Neff, a self-compassion researcher, author, and Associate Professor, describes self-compassion as having three different components.

  1. self kindness vs self judgement

  2. common humanity versus isolation

  3. mindfulness vs. over-identification

Self- Kindness is a very active stance and practice of soothing and taking care of one's suffering while self-judgment may look like judging and criticizing the suffering.

Common humanity is framing one’s experience as part of a larger human experience while isolation is isolating oneself and the experience.

Mindfulness allows us to notice our suffering and to be with the suffering as it is and be with it to then be able to give ourselves the caring and compassion we need.

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Pseudo Recovery or Recovered Enough

I love seeing all my clients reach their checkpoints! Eating and enjoying foods they haven't had in so long, making peace with their bodies, understanding the eating disorder, learning about how diet culture plays a role in the maintenance of their behaviors, and so much more! However, I want more for them and for you. I want you to go all the way to the finish line- to feel no ties to disordered eating, to have a full and compassionate relationship with food and your body. You deserve the world. You deserve full recovery.

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How Body Checking Will Keep you Stuck in your Eating Disorder

Body checking is done to attempt to feel better about one’s body, more specifically about the parts one may wish were different. The belief is that body checking will provide us with some relief and help in decreasing the anxiety or worry we are feeling. However, body checking does the opposite and keeps you stuck in your eating disorder and/or body hatred.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Do it Differently

For me, freedom has always existed in a boundary. When I didn’t have a boundary, I didn’t know where to go, what to do, or how to function. The meal plan served as my boundary. For the most part I now eat and move intuitively. However, if struggles were to pop back up, I can go back to the basics of the meal plan to guide me. 

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Living According to Your True Values

If I could choose one word that best describes what helped me most in my recovery journey, it would be freedom. What helped push me to actually try recovery and give it a chance was the desire to have my life back and to lean into my core values.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Mindset and Interests

The first, and most important, healing mechanism I would like to mention is: your mindset. When I was in the midst of my recovery, I was told a piece of advice that I still carry with me and spread to others to this day. If you want to get better, YOU have to make the choice. YOU have to help yourself. YOU have to push yourself.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Find Support and Get Uncomfortable

Slowly I broke down the rules I held around food and exercise and gave myself FULL PERMISSION to eat what I truly wanted without limits and move my body in a way that actually felt good instead of compulsive and self-punishing. Yes, it felt very scary at first. I definitely thought I was “messing up” and would never be able to “control” myself around the foods I deemed as “off limits,” but much to my surprise this didn’t happen.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Eat Foods that "Don't Count"

Unplanned Food Exposures: One thing that made a huge difference in my recovery from restricting, and I now teach my clients, was to eat foods I couldn’t count.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Learning to Trust My Body

That is something that I would go back and tell myself a couple years ago when first starting recovery. With diet culture being as pervasive as it is, the message that our bodies are in constant need of fixing is creating a collective distrust among the inherent wisdom we hold. Trusting our bodies has become an abstract and strange concept.

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Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Changing Your Environment

Changing my environment and finding a community that supported me (as I am) definitely helped me in the final stages of my recovery. This community included individuals on social media, in my workplace, in my personal life… but also me. I am the most important individual in the community that supports me.

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