Stories of Eating Disorder Recovery: Eat Foods that "Don't Count"

Libby Parker, MS, RD is a Registered Dietitian and author of Permission To Eat: a practical guide to working yourself out of an eating disorder during college, while celebrating the awesomeness that is you. She owns the group practice Not Your Average Nutritionist, where she and her associate dietitians help clients make peace with food and their body in recovery from eating disorders. Find her on Instagram & Facebook @DietitianLibby

One thing that made a huge difference in my recovery from restricting, and I now teach my clients, was to eat foods I couldn’t count.

When I was deep in my disorder, I counted EVERY calorie. This was before phone apps and trackers. I looked at labels and kept daily lists of everything I ate. And whether or not I was able to immediately write the food down, my brain kept a running total. 

I was in MISERY.

I remember going to Italy for a study abroad trip and instead of enjoying all the amazing foods, I was stressed that I didn’t know what was in most of them. (And did I mention I was there for a food class? #NutritionMajor) While my roommates ate fresh bread from the farmer’s market, I went to a convenience store to buy a loaf of bread that had a label and lower calories (it tasted awful). With the barrage of oil, gelato, and other foods I couldn’t “count,” my mind was furious but it also presented me an opportunity to force myself into doing some of the necessary food exposure work.

I’m going to pause in my story right now to share that 100% of my clients feel this anger to some degree when working on recovery from restriction. It’s hard to let go of the habit that has become a fixation, a way to push other things out. However, it does get better if you keep pushing through.

Coming back to America, I had more opportunities to eat “uncountable” foods. Casseroles (or “hot dish” I am from MN), other mixed foods. These became opportunities to stop the ticker in my brain. If I couldn’t count the one dish, why bother with others? My daily total wouldn’t be accurate. 

Over time, along with other recovery activities, I was able to stop counting altogether and just enjoy food. I know, what a concept!

Now, I am a Registered Dietitian (Not Your Average Nutritionist, LLC) helping others make peace with food, and heal their relationship with food and their body. 

You are totally capable of recovery and worthy of loving yourself right now. Today.

Life is so much better when you are not thinking about food all the time.

Believe me.