Body image as a Relationship
A relationship can be defined as the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or as the state of being connected.
Take this blog one step further and try this activity- Letters To My Body.
When discussing body image and body Image healing, it is very helpful to think of your relationship with your body as just that- a relationship. Our relationship with our body is similar to other relationships in our lives, like our relationships with our significant others, our friends, and other acquaintances.
Now, we all know that relationships require a lot of work, communication, and understanding. We are all on our own journeys navigating this understanding. Forever on this journey, we experience parts of our relationships that can be super tough at times, as there are ups and downs, miscommunication and additionally, are always changing and growing. While navigating a relationship, it can be difficult to understand the other person's point of view, intentions, ways of communicating, perceptions, beliefs, and the history that shaped them. Relationships with others bring us so much joy and most relationships also present struggles and problems that take intentional work in the relationship. Relationships are complex and need tending to consistently. The nature of relationships is that they will always be fluid and take intention.
Our Relationship with our Body
As in our personal relationships with others, our relationship with our bodies can be thought of very similarly. Just as we all experience relationships in our life differently and tend to our relationships differently, we also all have varying complex individual relationships with our bodies. For all of us are at different stages in these relationships, we also have a varying degree of complicated and messy. Working on these complicated and messy relationships take active and intentional work and require time and patience. Body image healing in not passive.
Skills that can strengthen your relationship with your body
Just as learning and strengthening your the skills of addition, subtraction, and problem solving in math in order to able able to say you have an understanding and of navigating mathematical, navigating relationships also are a matter of practicing and building skills. Let’s explore some of them!
Communication:
Good communication in a relationship allows you to help each other understand what you are experiencing and what your needs are. The act of communicating not only helps to meet your needs, but also builds connection in your relationship.
Are you currently communicating with your body? What does that communication look like? How are you speaking to it and how is it speaking to you? Does it sound kind? Are you listening to each other? Are you listening non-judgmentally and openly? Are you listening to hear or to speak? Are you taking in what is being spoken to you and honoring that? Some ways in which your body communicates is through all of the intricate cues it gives you including several hunger signals, the need for rest, aches and pains. Are you tending to those? Or are you hearing them but ignoring them? Maybe you don't know how to even begin with listening to your body after many years of ignoring it.
Conflict
Conflict is healthy for all relationships and tells you that there is a need for change. Conflict provides an opportunity for making that change and work to identify the amount of conflict and where that conflict arises with your relationship with your body. How are you currently working through that conflict with your body?
Commitment/Willingness
Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to something. A committed relationship is based upon agreed-upon commitment to one another involving love, trust, honesty, and openness. How committed are you to your relationship with your body and mending that relationship. Are you committing time and/or energy? Are you actively participating or passively standing by. Different ways you can commit to working on your relationship with body is to put time aside, write out your goals, dedicate time to explore and understand, work with a nutrition and body image counselor, and commit to the struggles of that relationship. You can commit today by simply nonjudgmental reading this article with curiosity.
Reliability and Consistency
Reliability and consistency is a basic right in a relationship. A reliable person does what they say they will do and show up as they say they will. A person who shows up consistently has a combination of behaviors including dependability and trust and presents predictable behaviors.
Are you treating your body in a consistent way- feeding it consistently? If not, it may not be showing you the same forms of unreliability, unable to keep up with the inconsistency.
Connection
Connection means to be in alignment and have an understanding of one another. It is difficult to connect with your partner if you are not connected with yourself. Connection happens when you are open with your self and do your own inner work. To connect, you need to be open to learning. Connection also takes being present in that relationship. Disconnection is very easy when you are preoccupied, avoidant, and/or unsupportive.
Empathy and Compassion
Empathy in your relationship shows up as a willingness to listen, understand, and share the feelings of another and then respond kindly. Can you put yourself in their shoes? Can you actively listen and withhold judgment? Are you considering your partner's needs and wants?
Navigating your relationship with your body
Take a moment to pause and think about what your relationship with your body is currently like? What descriptive adjectives come to mind? How does your relationship with your body and the components above look in your life?
Now take a moment and think about what comes to mind when you think about a healthy relationship with another person.
How do these two line up? How are they similar and how are they different?
Finally, ask yourself how able and willing are you to invest in working on that relationship. What parts are you willing to work on? What parts aren't you willing to work on?
Show yourself patience as you practice.
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