How to Support Loved Ones with Eating Disorders: A Guide for Family and Friends
The Role of Loved Ones in Recovery
Supporting someone with an eating disorder can be really tough, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. Whether you're a family member, a friend, or a partner, you play a pivotal role in their recovery. You can offer emotional support, encouragement, and can often help ground someone’s recovery process when things feel overwhelming. But it's also important to recognize that being there for someone in recovery isn’t always easy. It requires understanding, patience, and knowing where to set healthy boundaries.
If you're supporting a loved one who’s struggling, it can sometimes feel hard to know what to do. What’s the best way to help? The right kind of support can make all the difference in their recovery journey, but it’s also important to understand that recovery is very personal and requires professional help. So, let’s talk about some key ways you can offer meaningful support, while also respecting their process and taking care of yourself in the process.
What to Do and What to Avoid
What to Do:
Supporting a friend through anorexia, bulimia, BED, orthorexia, and disordered eating can be really tough, and I know it can feel frustrating. Oftentimes, people tell us how helpless they feel. Here are a few tips on how to best support your friend, family member, or partner during their recovery and treatment.
Empathy is key. Just approach your friend with kindness and offer a listening ear without judgment. Let them know you care and that their feelings—however messy or complicated—are completely valid.
Encourage them to get professional help. Eating disorders are really complex, and they require the expertise of a medical team that includes a therapist, dietitian, and doctor who specializes in eating disorder care. You can offer to help with making appointments or even just doing a little research on what kind of support they might need. That practical support can make a big difference.
Recovery is a messy, non-linear journey. There will be good days and bad days. So, remind your friend that setbacks don’t mean failure—they’re just part of the process. Be there to reassure them that it’s okay not to be perfect and that they’re making progress even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Think about creating a space where your friend feels safe and supported. Be mindful of how you talk about food, body image, or weight around them. Avoid comments about dieting or appearance, and instead, focus on creating an environment where they feel accepted exactly as they are. That safe space can really help them feel less alone in their journey.
What to Avoid:
Don’t Try to “Fix” Them: It’s tempting to try and solve the problem or offer solutions, but eating disorders are not something that can be “fixed” with quick fixes or advice. Trust the process of recovery and let professionals guide the healing journey.
Avoid Weight or Food Talk: Avoid making comments about their weight, food choices, or body. While it might be tempting to offer praise for “eating well” or criticism for “overeating,” these remarks can reinforce harmful thoughts and behaviors.
Don’t Take It Personally: Eating disorders often cause individuals to push away those who care about them. If your loved one is resistant to help or responds negatively, don’t take it personally. They may be struggling with shame or fear of judgment, and it’s important to maintain your support without feeling rejected.
How to Set Boundaries While Supporting a Loved One
Supporting someone through recovery can take a toll, and it’s okay to set some boundaries to protect your well-being. Here’s how you can find a balance:
Set Emotional Boundaries: It’s really important not to take on your loved one’s struggles as your own. Their recovery is ultimately their journey, and while you can be there for them, you can't carry the weight of their illness. It's okay to acknowledge that.
Establish Practical Boundaries: This might look like choosing not to engage in conversations about food or dieting, especially in your home. Setting those limits helps protect both you and your loved one from falling back into unhealthy patterns that might make things harder for both of you.
Seek Support for Yourself: It’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed. Supporting someone with an eating disorder can be a lot, so make sure you’re taking care of your own mental health, too. Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or just talking with a trusted friend, having your own support system will help you be there for your loved one in the best way possible.
Why Your Support Matters
Your support can truly make a world of difference for your loved one right now. Just knowing that they’re heard, accepted, and loved gives them a sense of security and comfort that can be healing during a time when they might feel really vulnerable. Keep in mind that recovery is a long road, and your ongoing support can make them feel less alone and more hopeful about the future.
As a dietitian who provides outpatient nutrition therapy for anorexia, bulimia, BED, and other eating disorders, I understand that supporting someone with an eating disorder can feel overwhelming at times, but it’s also one of the most meaningful ways you can show love and care. By offering compassion, encouraging them to get professional help, setting healthy boundaries, and creating a safe, non-judgmental space for them, you can really be an important ally in their journey. And don’t forget—you don’t have to do this alone. There’s support out there for both of you, so be sure to reach out for help when you need it, too.
Get support and nutrition therapy for your eating disorder:
You Deserve Support—Start Your Healing Journey Today
If you’re struggling with food, body image, or eating behaviors, you deserve care and compassion. You don’t need to wait for things to spiral or reach a breaking point before seeking help. Treatment isn’t about being “sick enough”—it’s about improving your quality of life and addressing the behaviors and thoughts holding you back.
Reaching out for support can feel daunting, especially if you’re questioning whether your struggles are “serious” enough. But the truth is, if you’re even wondering, that’s reason enough to explore help. You deserve a life free from the constant battle with food and body image.
At Side By Side, we approach healing from a holistic, self-compassionate perspective. We empower our clients to rebuild trust in their bodies, discover self-acceptance, and live a fuller, freer life. Together, we’ll help you move forward toward nourishment and peace.