Thoughts on ‘Straight Sized’

by Taylor Craven, MS, RDN, CD, LDN

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The first time I heard this term it puzzled me. My initial reaction was “hmm, I didn’t know straight people were a different size than queer folx.” But then I had to invoke some form of rationalization. My next thought was “straight as in going forward, not turning left or right” but that made no sense. After thinking about it a while, I admit I couldn’t figure it out. Apparently, it means “not fat” or “size US 10 or UK 12 or below” and seems to be coined by the fashion industry, but also seems to be more recently adopted by eating disorder professionals’ language in what appears to be an attempt to be inclusive, HAES aligned, and social justice oriented.

Yuck. I hate it and refuse to use this term. 

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“Straight size” drips of heteronormativity and equating heterosexuality/straightness with thinness or “normalness.” And fatness with…queerness?...since fat and straight are not linguistically opposing adjectives.

If I’m going to talk about this, I needed to dig deeper into the term straight-sized. I found this documentary: http://www.straightcurvefilm.com. Ok maybe the initial purpose of classifying straight and curve to differentiate bodies as curvy and non-curvy could be somewhat understood. But for me, it stops there. A curve is still a straight line, no? If we’re talking about bodies, it is just as limiting because body shapes vary vastly. Someone who is 5’ tall and someone who is 6’ tall and both wear the same size are likely not going to have the same shape or classification. While there are parts of the film that seem to promote some minimal progress, this terminology and movement leaves out trans/nonbinary folx and men/boys as well as so many other marginalized folx.

I honestly cringe every time I hear the term used in the eating disorders field because of this. 

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In my eyes, it seems to further divide fat and thin, gay and straight, black and white. You’re either or. Black and white thinking is something we work to dismantle in eating disorder recovery/treatment. We preach ‘learning to live in the grey’ then turn around and label our own bodies as fat or straight…ahem thin. This feeds into the treatment gap as well – normalizing straight heterosexual, thin straight, white, financially able to seek treatment and continues to ignore marginalized folx. If you’re not familiar with the eating disorder treatment gap, I would recommend googling it and working to close it. 

What if you’re not a woman? What if you don’t wear women’s clothing? What if you have sensory processing issues that don’t allow you to wear pants? What if you don’t have legs? What if you have a medical condition like Crohn’s that can cause severe abdominal distention? What if you have an eating disorder and your size changes as you move through recovery? What if you have cancer and the chemo and radiation cause a dramatic shift in size or you’re in remission and the medications cause another significant shift? Must you then constantly reassess your classification?

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Who am I to decide this? No one really. I’m just a dietitian who is also transgender, pansexual, neurodiverse, and refuses to classify my own body size. Why? I have no idea what size I wear. I ripped the tags out of my jeans because it is dysphoric enough to use the bathroom let alone be reminded that I’m wearing pants I purchased in the women’s section because my current body shape doesn’t fit well into pants one would purchase from the men’s section. I don’t wear dresses or tops one would purchase in the women’s section, so I can’t really tell there. I guess I could go by BMI, but that’s a bunch of racist nonsense that doesn’t measure/classify size or appearance.

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My body is also in a state of change. I have been on HRT for nearly 3 years (happy ‘other birthday’ I like to call it on 5/4!) and in the past several months, my doctor and I have been changing my dosage which has had an effect on my body size and shape. I also had to stop HRT for several months during the pandemic when I could not get health insurance or a job. I ran out of HRT and it was simply not accessible.

I have recovered from my own eating disorder and worked so hard to do so. In my disorder and recovery journey, I have been medically classified as everything weight-wise from very underweight to very ob*** and everything in between. People congratulated me on weight loss and dedication to the gym as my body was wasting away. People have poked my belly fat rolls and said, “Oh you’re so soft and squishy like a pillow.” People have grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand/arm away from what I was doing, and compared it to theirs. People have pinched my upper arm and told me I’m too fat and need to lose weight. People have told me I’m going to hell for being queer, trans. People have told me to “get the f*** out of here” in both bathrooms. In every single moment mentioned here, I have been minding my own business, doing my own thing.

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Why is society so invested in my body? Why do so many people have such a stronger opinion on my own body size than I do? I am sick of others telling me that I’m thin or overweight, that I’m fat or straight-sized. I’m sick of others telling me I’m a woman or assuming so. I’m sick of others telling me to be straight. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of times others have told me whether I’m fat or not fat. 

This is my body. I get to call the shots and I do not want to be a part of another oppressive system that normalizes straightness or assumes “straight until proven otherwise.” It hurts. So, no, I’m not going to classify my body’s size.

My trans, queer, neurodivergent body is doesn’t fit so many systems. But I am okay as I am. I am worthy. And so are you. 

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When I was working so hard at recovery and each day was a struggle not to use ED behaviors, I read something that talked about diamonds and how multipurpose they can be- how they’re one of the strongest substances on the planet- how sometimes they don’t always look like “traditional” diamonds but have so many amazing uses and qualities. So this became my mantra: “I am a diamond. I am beautiful and I am strong. Nothing can break me.”